Oct
24
2007

Pointless & Too Much Information

you shut your mouth!

*The bathrooms in many of the bars have a peculiar feature: actual keys in the doors to the stalls. I kept thinking Wow! How long till those were stolen if this was america!

*After our first day of walking around, Justin & couldn’t help but notice the blinding pain in various parts of our bodies. For Justin it was the ankles, shins, neck, and shoulders. For me it was the balls of the feet, the calves, and the lower back. Even better was when we realized our ibuprofen was
at least 3 years expired, and to top it off, our room was the 4th floor, and there are no elevators. Absinthe helps in the numbing of pain.

*Justin’s excellent black leather trench-coat was starting to fall apart and is so heavy that it’s hurting his shoulders after wearing it for so may days in a row. So we went to get him a new jacket, and we noticed the weirdest thing: the zipper on separating zippers is on the other side of the jacket. This may not seem like a big deal, but try next time you zip up something: you have become accustomed to holding the zipper with the left hand and zipping up with the right hand. Trying to switch is like trying to tie your shoelaces the other direction. Possible, but really frustrating. He bought a jacket with buttons.

*When you vacation to a place that has different foods than you are used to, your digestive system is a bit confused and sometimes gets really pissed off at you, and it’s not very subtle about it or care about the timing of it all.

* When walking around in very cold weather I have leggings on underneath my jeans. After using the restroom I need to reassemble my layers to go back outside. I am also wearing a fully buttoned and tied leather trench-coat and thick gloves. Should, upon hours of walking and hundreds of stairs, I need to readjust my underwear that has shifted from one place to another, there is no subtle way to do so; not with gloves, thick jacket and 2 layers of pants. One simply needs to decide to ignore it or find a blunt way to solve it.

*The bathroom stalls are very small in some bars. They even smaller when you need to disrobe 15 lbs of outer layers to use the bathroom and you don’t know what to do with said 15 lbs of jackets, hat, and purse. Once I went into a stall ~4’ wide. There was a toilette and a coiled radiator heater in it. The radiator was hot to the touch and had a roll of toilette paper sitting on it, heating up (I moved it). Since the door opened inward to the stall, the first thing I encountered was a hot radiator. So I kinda stepped past it onto the toilette, closed the door and stepped down onto the remaining 1 sq. ft area of floor across from the radiator. Then I shed my outer layers and dropped them at my feet onto the square of floor. Then I tried to undo my pants, turn, & land bare-bummed on the toilette instead of the radiator. I succeeded, thank all gods. Sitting there was, well, toasty: knees and ankles pinned together because there was no room over by Mount Jacket and I wanted to avoid Mr. Radiator. There is the problem, however, of wiping. You cannot do so and keep your ankles and knees pinned together. I kinda shifted sideways, sorta putting my feet on the jacket pile and to door, careful not to knock out the key out of the keyhole. I’m doing this while eyeing the 1/2” gap between my bare upper thigh and the radiator. Then, basically, I had to reverse the entire operation to become clothes and leave the stall.

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